Coping

Sweden
I understand exactly what you mean when you speak about the imagination, you are so right on that. It's like I have told him "worse than knowing is the not knowing". The mind tends to wander in all different directions, at least mine does. Let me ask a question of you, if I may. Have you spoken to her to get her side of the story? If so, did it help you in any way? The only reason for which I have not approached her, and believe me, I so want to approach her, is because of all the females that he could have chosen to betray me with he chose a company co-worker. Unlike your situation, the company he works for is a very large company with many locations and she is in a different location than he is. But still, if I were to approach her and things get out of hand he can lose his job as well as her too. Honestly I don't give a damn about her losing her job but right now I can not afford for him to lose his. Like I said it is the only reason why she has not yet heard from me. And I know that that is part of what is making me crazy.

I will give credit where credit is due, he has made changes. For one he changed his day off during the week so that it won't be the same as hers. He has also stopped working on the weekends and is spending it with the family. He is once again becoming the man that I had fallen in love with 9.5 years ago.

But the hurt and the pain is still there. My emotions of the love that I feel for him and the hate that I feel are constantly clashing with each other. I go through so many mood swings that I feel like Sybil.