GAsoccerman

i skimmed through did not read everything so please forgive me.

Now I come from a house were my father died when I was 1 year old, and my mother dated a man since I was 5 years old, they married when I was 14 yrs old...Now we knew each other a long time, but when we moved in, everything drastically changed.

His family lived 1 way, my family lived another.

We have 5 kids oon our side, they had 4 kids...With me being the youngest out of the 9 kids. So basically everyone was older and pretty much out of the house, except a few of us, me and my sister and 2 step brothers...now we all knew each other already for 9 years. But now all of a sudden we lived together.

My family was very open and leberal....IE sharing things, clothes, food, etc.

Other family very strict, shared nothing, food "labelled theirs" complete 180 from our lifestyle.

Now after many fights and rough times the kids realized....we were not the problem, the parents were...

My step brothers could do nothing right in my mother's eye's. My sister and I could do nothing right in their father's eye's. After all we were teenagers.

We figured this out and we temed up against the parents, stuck up for one another against our own parent, etc.

Rough times, the biggest issue was I Look exactly like my father, and my mother would let it be known, so made my step-father hate me even more, wanted nothing to do with me.

I am now 38, my mother passed away last year. My step-father still resents me, we do not like each other, no change.

But I was never "mean" we just did not talk, people asked my position, I said and I stand by this...

He was good for my mother and what she needed at the time, But he was not good for me, but I am fine with him as long as he takes care of my mother and treats her right.

I'll put it this way, I paid my own way through college by joining the Army and working 2 jobs while in school, plus loans...My step-family....all paid for by my step father.

My step father sold our house soon as I was 18 and was kicked out, all my sisters and brotherrs were mad (including step) they knew I got shafted and did not understand why. I was a good kid, a/b student, never in trouble, always worked, no drugs, ton's of friends, but there was something that he did not like about me and I guess it was jealousy that I was exactly like my father, hard to compete against a ghost I suppose, or a memory.

But my advice is this, Either she learns to love and accept your children, or you should move on with out her. Because it will never EVER change unless SHE makes the effort, any kid at any age will accept LOVE, but SHE needs to get over whatever is holding her back.

Counseling is needed. If she can't open her heart to your children....Then I recommend moving on without her.

I have three Children, Whom I LOVE dearly, probably more so then most, because I fill a void that has been empty all my life, I do not wish that on any child.

As their father you must do what is best for THEM.

that is the bottom line.