Originally Posted by OnTheBrink
I will quickly admit that I can't claim to be in a good place to give marriage advice, but I can tell you my thoughts based on my experience.
I ignored warning signs that started coming up right before I married my wife under the same type of assumption. The problems became worse after marriage and still plague us to this day. Now we have a house and children and it would be a mess to end the relationship now, but at times life is absolutely miserable. We have improved in some ways, and maybe over time we can find a way to do okay.
But the main thing I want to tell you is DON'T IGNORE THE ISSUE - FORCE IT TO A RESOLUTION now. Say we're going to go to counseling and get to the bottom of this or we're done. If she refuses to go, bring her the divorce papers and be ready to walk away, because if she's not willing to work on it there's no point. And make sure to keep following through - don't allow her to agree to go back and then start avoiding it again. You have to be strong and force this to a resolution - one way or the other - or this will likely plague you for a long long time.
And whatever you do, DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO MAKE CHILDREN WITH THIS WOMAN WITHOUT THE ISSUES BEING RESOLVED!!!
I should have seen through the lies and never purchased the house!...so kids are certainly not happening at this point. I thank you for the advice, its nice getting in from someone who has been through it all. I think i need to man up, demand therapy and a resolution to our problems (or atleast an effort to fix them) and if she cant atleast work with me or show that she wants change i need to leave her. I know it will be hard but i think it will be best for both of us as we will never be happy if the given situation continues.