as well everybody acts like my wife is some viscous harpy intent on destroying all that comes in her path.thats not the case. im not saying she perfect, obviously. but shes not one of those who is looking to just up and runa way with teh OM and start a new life with the OM. if she was, she woulda done it already. and as i mentioned, shes broken up with him 5 times, all of her own accord. and with nobody else pressuring her. The OM thoght knows exactly how to push her buttons to bring her back into the fold. (the old ignoiring trick, which has always worked really well). shes usually a good person, a good person who had a complete lack of boundaries, a good person who has made some horrendous decisions. a good person whose insanely naive. good person who went down that slippery slope, and by the time she realized what was going on, her emotions were all involved.
Elph, we are not looking to attack you. But just remember the quote above. You will be looking back on it and realize how stupid it is.
As I said before, your wife is not one of these psycho bipolar wives that are hell bent on destroying their ex husbands. In actuality, that would have been better for you. You would have no problem moving on. It does not make it any better for you that she is nice and cares for you(On a very very superficial level). Her emotional maturity(or lack of it) does not make it any better for you. It is like you saying "She is not killing be intentionally, so I wouldn't mind her killing me by accident."
You need to stop considering her your friend. She is poisonous to you, your self esteem and your own improvement. I mean with people like her, you won't even need enemies.