swedish

It does sound like a mid-life crisis to me...he is getting attention from someone much younger than himself and he probably loves what it's doing for his ego. He's also justifying that his actions are ok since she is unavailable.

What he is failing to do is to respect your feelings. Telling you he is not sure about how he feels about you and that he has feelings for this woman, then insisting on spending time with her knowing it's upsetting to you is just plain selfish. You should not have to compete for his attention. From what he has already admitted, his friendship with her is inappropriate and I think you have every right to ask him to end it for the sake of your marriage.

I really want to be with you but we are both married and it isn't right so I'll stick with plan b because I feel obligated...that's how it would make me feel. It's just not right. You don't deserve that.