swedish

It sounds to me like you see it as a full betrayal of your vows and she sees it as a close call...as in good thing I didn't cross the line and have a physical relationship. Being in your same position, I know how you feel and why you need her to feel remorseful but I'm glad she is being honest with you about her feelings. I think for me I needed some reassurance that it would not happen again and for him, since he vowed to never do that but broke that vow he cannot say it won't happen again because he thought that the first time around...anyway he did say he would spend every day for the rest of his life rebuilding my trust and proving that he loves me so we are moving forward. He still works with the woman but stopped the friendship. I don't think I'll feel ok with it until one of them leaves the company. His Christmas party was awkward to say the least. I do think she needs to completely end it and show you she is serious about your marriage. I'm sure there are issues on both sides (voids not being met, etc.) and I don't think my husband and I could have moved forward as we are without me acknowledging where I went wrong as well. On the upside, we are doing great now...both happier than we ever thought possible (even before all of this mess) so there is hope and I don't think you are asking too much to end any friendship with him, but as far as wanting her to feel a certain way, she will feel what she feels. I found peace in seeing how we got to where we got and my role in getting there...it enabled me to forgive (without being asked) and also gave me some sense that I have more control over our relationship than I gave credit...to keep it fulfilled and happy or to help it totally derail.