Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Gizzy · 06-09-2009, 08:13 PM

I'm not exactly sure where I should post my story. I was a young teenaged mother of two when my husband and I first started dating in high school. Since our marriage, we've had another child together. In total, we have been together for almost 18 years. We have seen many up and downs together, and have managed, up until recently, to over come them all.

A lot of my friends consider my husband as a "cheap" person. He doesn't like spending money on things we need. The last three cars that we have owned, we have purchased for a total of $150.01, combined. He is a mechanic and can fix these cars to a running state. We do not own a house, rather, he moved the 5 of us into a small two bedroom apartment, with a loft. This was suppose to be only temperary, but we have now been here 5 years. Our rent is going up in October to $900 a month.

My car has no heat during the winter (he has done pretty much everying to try to fix this problem, including a flush and fill), and is starting to rust out quite a bit. I really don't think it will last another Canadian winter. Currently, he is working on rebuilding a motorbike, which is starting to become quite costly (he spent $125 on a gas tank for it that wasn't needed)

About a month ago, my husband and I were talking and he told me that his mother told him to hurry up and finish the bike, so he can sell it and purchase a newer, safer car for me to drive. My husband and I (mostly me) had talked previously about purchasing a newer car. (Currently, I am driving a 92 mini van). One night we were out at his parents house for supper, my husband and I had our first fight in front of his parents, which his mother started in a round about sort of way. She told him again, that he needed to hurry and finish the bike so he could sell it and get me a new car. He got angry and stated that he had no intentions on selling the bike, that it was something that he wanted for a long time, and he was finally getting it. I went into the house, and sat down. My husbands mother told me I needed to talk to my father in law about what was going on. My father in law is our accountant, and does our taxes every year, so he knows what our income is. When I spoke with him, he told me that my husband and I could easily afford to purchase a house AND a newer car.

Earlier last week, my husband brought home a 02 SUV for me to test drive. For a moment, I was in heaven, by the end of the week he decided that $8000 was to expensive.

What my problem is, I'm tired of working so hard and having absolutly nothing to show for it. He wouldn't even get health benefits from work because it might cost to much. I'm at my whits end. Of course there are other issues with our relationship, however, this one has just pushed me over the edge. I really don't know what I feel towards him anymore. At times, when I look at him, I feel sick to my stomache.

I'm not sure what my question is, or if I even have one. Has anyone else had issues like this, if so, what did you do? Am I being unreasonable with my requests?

06-09-2009, 08:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gizzy Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8	Cheap Husband I'm not exactly sure where I should post my story. I was a young teenaged mother of two when my husband and I first started dating in high school. Since our marriage, we've had another child together. In total, we have been together for almost 18 years. We have seen many up and downs together, and have managed, up until recently, to over come them all. A lot of my friends consider my husband as a "cheap" person. He doesn't like spending money on things we need. The last three cars that we have owned, we have purchased for a total of $150.01, combined. He is a mechanic and can fix these cars to a running state. We do not own a house, rather, he moved the 5 of us into a small two bedroom apartment, with a loft. This was suppose to be only temperary, but we have now been here 5 years. Our rent is going up in October to $900 a month. My car has no heat during the winter (he has done pretty much everying to try to fix this problem, including a flush and fill), and is starting to rust out quite a bit. I really don't think it will last another Canadian winter. Currently, he is working on rebuilding a motorbike, which is starting to become quite costly (he spent $125 on a gas tank for it that wasn't needed) About a month ago, my husband and I were talking and he told me that his mother told him to hurry up and finish the bike, so he can sell it and purchase a newer, safer car for me to drive. My husband and I (mostly me) had talked previously about purchasing a newer car. (Currently, I am driving a 92 mini van). One night we were out at his parents house for supper, my husband and I had our first fight in front of his parents, which his mother started in a round about sort of way. She told him again, that he needed to hurry and finish the bike so he could sell it and get me a new car. He got angry and stated that he had no intentions on selling the bike, that it was something that he wanted for a long time, and he was finally getting it. I went into the house, and sat down. My husbands mother told me I needed to talk to my father in law about what was going on. My father in law is our accountant, and does our taxes every year, so he knows what our income is. When I spoke with him, he told me that my husband and I could easily afford to purchase a house AND a newer car. Earlier last week, my husband brought home a 02 SUV for me to test drive. For a moment, I was in heaven, by the end of the week he decided that $8000 was to expensive. What my problem is, I'm tired of working so hard and having absolutly nothing to show for it. He wouldn't even get health benefits from work because it might cost to much. I'm at my whits end. Of course there are other issues with our relationship, however, this one has just pushed me over the edge. I really don't know what I feel towards him anymore. At times, when I look at him, I feel sick to my stomache. I'm not sure what my question is, or if I even have one. Has anyone else had issues like this, if so, what did you do? Am I being unreasonable with my requests?