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Amplexor · 03-27-2008, 12:32 PM

You are young but you still have the responsibility to your marriage and your kids. Not to sound too critical here but on first blush your post is full of I’s. “I raised 3 kids”…. Is it possible she is feeling unappreciated? That you take too much credit for the kids, working hard….? Just a thought from your post. If you had three affairs not so long ago it is understandable that she my not have rebuilt trust in you. If you want to get past this you will need to accept that and make yourself an open book to her. On the other hand if she is telling you to just go ahead and break up with her she is not showing a willingness to work at the relationship. If you are going have a chance as a couple you will both need to work at it. She needs to tell you how she feels about the affairs. Just because you confessed and “moved on” doesn’t mean she has gotten over them. To fix the sexual intimacy you must first fix the relationship. That you are willing to look at counseling is great and I hope you can convince her to go also. Healthy sexual relationships are built around love and trust. Trust is already an issue for her. Work on both of those issues and with time maybe the sexual intimacy will return for you as a couple. Good luck and read my mantra below.

03-27-2008, 12:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
Amplexor Moderator Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Midwest Posts: 404	Re: i need some clarity You are young but you still have the responsibility to your marriage and your kids. Not to sound too critical here but on first blush your post is full of I’s. “I raised 3 kids”…. Is it possible she is feeling unappreciated? That you take too much credit for the kids, working hard….? Just a thought from your post. If you had three affairs not so long ago it is understandable that she my not have rebuilt trust in you. If you want to get past this you will need to accept that and make yourself an open book to her. On the other hand if she is telling you to just go ahead and break up with her she is not showing a willingness to work at the relationship. If you are going have a chance as a couple you will both need to work at it. She needs to tell you how she feels about the affairs. Just because you confessed and “moved on” doesn’t mean she has gotten over them. To fix the sexual intimacy you must first fix the relationship. That you are willing to look at counseling is great and I hope you can convince her to go also. Healthy sexual relationships are built around love and trust. Trust is already an issue for her. Work on both of those issues and with time maybe the sexual intimacy will return for you as a couple. Good luck and read my mantra below. __________________ Amp Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.