Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

TRACER · 06-11-2009, 08:40 AM

I joined this cause I have huge issues and no one to really talk to about them. I am not the type of person who likes people to know my business and I like to act like there's never anything wrong. About 2 yrs ago my husband of 19 yrs told me he wanted out of our marriage, wanted to try it alone. I thought this was strange as we spend alot of time together and our sex life was as active as it had always been. He told me he didn't love me anymore so I told him to just get out. He spent 1 night in a hotel (was on the phone with me most of the time he was there) and came back the next day begging to come home. I allowed him too and felt bad for him cause he seemed so out of sorts. His eyes were different and he seemed confused.So we tried to work on things and about 2 wks later I got a suprising phone call at my work , the person said my husband had a girlfriend and they were moving in together on that friday. So i called my husband and the girl(they worked together) confronted them and yes it was true.They were getting an apt together and they did for about 2 wks then my husband decided he wanted to come home. I allowed this once again and after 2 wks discovered he was still carrying on with her.So i kicked him out again. I discovered he has also had a sexual affair 10 yrs before, a few verbal affairs and an internet affair right before this last girlfriend. But he moved into his own apartment and we went to counseling and after 6 months I let him move back in with me and our children. And he has proven himself to be a loving, caring, man. I'm one of those women who always said if my man was cheating it would be over but i have found myself having to eat those words. Because I love him.I just don't understand how someone can do this to the one they claim to love and be happy with. I just can't imagine. Maybe i'm just a fool. Idk! But all I ever here from him or the counselor is to live in the here and now and forget the past. Can anyone ever forget all that?

06-11-2009, 08:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
TRACER Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8	Here and now I joined this cause I have huge issues and no one to really talk to about them. I am not the type of person who likes people to know my business and I like to act like there's never anything wrong. About 2 yrs ago my husband of 19 yrs told me he wanted out of our marriage, wanted to try it alone. I thought this was strange as we spend alot of time together and our sex life was as active as it had always been. He told me he didn't love me anymore so I told him to just get out. He spent 1 night in a hotel (was on the phone with me most of the time he was there) and came back the next day begging to come home. I allowed him too and felt bad for him cause he seemed so out of sorts. His eyes were different and he seemed confused.So we tried to work on things and about 2 wks later I got a suprising phone call at my work , the person said my husband had a girlfriend and they were moving in together on that friday. So i called my husband and the girl(they worked together) confronted them and yes it was true.They were getting an apt together and they did for about 2 wks then my husband decided he wanted to come home. I allowed this once again and after 2 wks discovered he was still carrying on with her.So i kicked him out again. I discovered he has also had a sexual affair 10 yrs before, a few verbal affairs and an internet affair right before this last girlfriend. But he moved into his own apartment and we went to counseling and after 6 months I let him move back in with me and our children. And he has proven himself to be a loving, caring, man. I'm one of those women who always said if my man was cheating it would be over but i have found myself having to eat those words. Because I love him.I just don't understand how someone can do this to the one they claim to love and be happy with. I just can't imagine. Maybe i'm just a fool. Idk! But all I ever here from him or the counselor is to live in the here and now and forget the past. Can anyone ever forget all that?