Shaggy

so how was the OM contacting you ? Phone, email, chat?

You should block him because now that he's found you to available to him , he will be back for more. This is a guy who hooked up with you despite having a gf. Sounds like a real winner himself.

Married folk need to be together - and this extended apart for months is very much contributing to ending the marriage.

The only way I can see LIH being able to take you back, is if he can see real remorse in you.

The only way I can see you going back to LIH is him and you finding a way to actually live together in the same house.

Yes duty postings will pull you apart, but that's not forever and you can have a home you share until you can both be there full time.

If the two of you can't do those things, then it's going to be a long haul for both of you through IC, but divorce may be the best for the two of you.

and yeah, you really did mess things up starting on that cruise.

Perhaps now that he has had to actually face his worst fear: that you would cheat - he can begin to deal with facing it and find it in him to have more trust (but verified) in the future.