C.Soprano

@ this is me

I am now trying not to put her on pedestal. I put her on that pedestal for the past few weeks in thinking that would work but it' not working. I will continue to do the daily household chores that she used to do but i do need to drop it a notch. I have gone over the top with helping and doing everything . I went from doing very little with all the chores to doing everything. It's a desperate act.At first i thought she would think it was sweet but now it seems too desperate .
another thing you hit right on the head is that i am walking on egg shells . I never know how to act around her. It's making me insane.

@Mr T & this is me - Patience . Something i am horrible with but i have no choice now and will be as patient as possible . It's hard because my emotions are running wild, but will keep patient.

@ withmuchregret- thanks for sharing and advice . I know the pain you must feel is unbearable.
My financial situation did come up recently as well. She works part time and also sings in wedding bands for some extra cash but most weeks is just about covers the cost of her work costs and after-care for our daughter. I am the one who brings in the money to pay the bills. For most of the time we have been married, i let her pay the bills but she did not do a very good job with it. We were always behind and broke. That has put a ton of stress on the marriage. I recently offered to take over the bills and told her i would fix this mess. After we sat down and she gave me all the info, a few days later she thanked me for doing this. I know i should have done it sooner but when i was sick , i had trouble focusing on tasks and keep concentration . I feel better knowing that i am now in control of the family financials. I have already begun getting us out of the hole .

thanks you everyone...Please keep sharing . this is helping me a lot! and gving me good ideas about how to handle this situation. It's has been difficult coping and not knowing how to act around her.