Originally Posted by bighead
About 10 months ago, my wife went to see her doc because she's got acnes in her private area. We thought it was shingle or maybe just acnes, but then I found out it was actually herpies type I. I was devastated, because I knew it must be caused by sex or oral sex. And she admitted that she had sex with 3 different guys before me after I found out the result and confronted her repeatedly. When we were dating, I asked her if she's a virgin repeatedly, she always said yes, she even lied to me in the pre-marital counseling class held by our church pastor before we got married. We have a young kid and he's 20 months old. I regret this marriage so much, I even regret knowing her as a person ruining my life. I so much want a divorce but I know God hates divorce, and my child might suffer if we end up with divorce. It has been 10 months, and I still feel being cheated and so regretful. And blame her on ruining my life.
I could have a better life, and it's so hard for me to trust her, I feel like a paranoid almost everyday thinking if she still hides stuff from me like she used to. She's the only person whom I have dated with before marriage.
Having read your other posts, I want to go back to a couple of these statements:
Why do you regret knowing her as a person? Why do you think you could have had a better life without her? Has she, and your marriage been that bad? I am not judging, just trying to get a better understanding of your feelings.
I also am not trying to minimize your feelings. She lied to you, gave you a disease, and now you are likely wondering what other lies she told you. I know I would be wondering what parts of my marriage are true. Has she told you why she lied?
Do you still love her? Do you want to find to a way to forgive her and give her a chance to earn back your trust?