Originally Posted by Jayb
Are children involved? I ask that because I assume that any finalization with us would not yield to quick R due to dragging our small children back into this.
Which is why I want to remain separated and give proper time/work before we make this serious decision.
No, there are no children involved fortunately. However, it still doesn't change the fact that now you have to take care of you. Listen to all that has been written, it is everything you need to know. Do this for yourself, not for anyone else. Your children will adapt (I am a product of two divorces / parents-wise) as long as you continue to be their Dad and haven't changed how you are there for them, they will feel secure. That is the important issue for them that their world is not crumbling but will continue in spite of Mom and Dad living apart. In time, they will get used to this if this is the case.
Do the 180, don't engage any longer, ask yourself what is right for you before committing to anything. Don't change for anyone else other than yourself, that will be real change not something that was forced on you.
You are a decent human being and if there are things that need tweaking do them but really do them for yourself because you want to improve yourself for yourself.
Let go of the rest. Pray, build a support network, share with others, find other interests...live in spite of this.