Originally Posted by Traggy
She turned over a leaf. Even though it was a small one, but she might just see a problem in herself and that is the first step.
Traggy, what you witnessed is called "moments of clarity." Unlike narcissists, BPDers are so unstable that they generally have a vague awareness that the self image they project is fake. They know that something is wrong even though they rarely have the self awareness and ego strength to be willing to admit it and suffer the painful shame they feel.
They nonetheless will occasionally get moments of clarity where you can actually sit down with them and they will calmly admit to a whole list of faults. With my exW, for example, that happened maybe 5 or 6 times in 15 years. Typically, it doesn't last long and, no matter what they agree to during that brief period, they nearly always will disavow it later.
Of course, I hope this is not the case with your W. I just don't want you to get your hopes up too much, Traggy. Even if she does agree to stay in therapy to prevent you from leaving, it will be very difficult
to determine whether she is making any real progress. Unstable people are always greatly improving every three weeks in the same way that smokers are always quitting.