#1 - Your WH sounds like as much of a self-absorbed narcissist as mine is. (We're not reconciling but we did a few years back after he had an online affair -- can't call it an EA 'cause I don't even think it was emotional, just sexting etc -- and he was the same way. If I brought it up I was "nagging" and "never let him forget it." I literally brought it up less than 5 times in 7 years, twice involving how our daughter who discovered the whole mess was dealing with it, and I
somehow was the nag!) (Yeah, and 6 months ago I found out he's been having real-life PA's for a few years now, so be warned!
#2 - Read the 180 Rules
. Don't just read them, do them, for yourself. You deserve better than you're getting, and you're not going to get better from him the way things are. Treat YOURSELF better, and maybe he will see the light.
#3 - GOOD LUCK! I hope he comes around. But more important, I hope you start valuing yourself more highly, with or without him!