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Originally Posted by jnj express  She has been married a # of years, she takes care of kids, a house---and her H. wants her to run his hockey fan channel---which I would imagine is absolutely meaningless to anything remotely related to making a mge work |
Huh? Who ever said anything about me wanting her to run my hockey website?? What I said was that I handed over control. I was actually fully preparing to shut it down altogether until an existing member of the site stepped up and decided to assume the webmaster responsibilities.
The idea of me dropping that in her lap in a "dont like me doing it, then do it yourself" kind of way is preposterous, and I would have to be a jerk of legendary proportions to even try to pull that off.
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When he comes home he wants to watch his hockey games
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No... what I said is that I am DVR'ing the games and watching them at more convenient times when it isnt taking time away from my family. My kids are in bed by 9pm, and my wife is almost always quick to follow. Not from boredom, but because she has been an "early to bed, early to rise" type her entire life. So I often wait until everyone is off to bed and then watch the recorded game, which by the way isnt easy to do since I have to wake up at 4am for work when Im working days. So I am making the sacrifice for my hobby now...not my family.
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He knows she is bored---and what does he propose to spice up her life---something really exciting---going to a museum---give me a break
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What you dont know...or didnt bother to infer from my earlier post...is that this is something she would actually enjoy. Is it YOUR idea of a great day together? Obviously not. But some people do enjoy it, and I had already said that music and artistic culture is something she is interested in.
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You got a wife who is probably highly intellegent, she plays the piano, so she must have some talent also---and she has subverted her life to her family---and she is bored as he*l
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I dont believe this can be thrown completely in my lap. I actually was concerned all along that her submitting completely to being a SAHM would be bad for her piece of mind, and have always tried to nudge her to find something SHE enjoys. Again...something I had clarified in an earlier post.
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He needs to focus ALL of his available energy on sprucing up his mge---and helping his wife get thru her boredom
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My wife is her own person. She is responsible for how she feels and the decisions she makes. I dont control her, and I dont tell her how to think or feel. Therefore, I dont take full responsibility for the aftermath. Certainly, I can do more, and that's why I'm here...to find out what that is. But her happiness is hers to build and create. Whether its persuing music, additional education, a new career, or anything else, I will do anything I possibly can to help her. But I cannot and will not try to live her life FOR her.
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Yes she has problems---boredom, and a H. who thinks 1st of himself, and how wonderful he is----THIS IS HOW AFFAIRS START.
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I think 1st of myself. I suppose that's why I own 2 pairs of jeans. I suppose thats why I work as much as I do...so I can blow it on... oh yeah...NOTHING. I dont blow it. It goes toward making a better home and better standard of living for the wife and kids I adore. I suppose that's why I'm here looking to find ways to discern what my wife is feeling and ways that I can be a better husband to her. Because im a boorish oaf who cares nothing for her feelings or her happiness.
Whatever has happened in your life to make you this bitter and cause you to take such a twisted assessment of my situation, I'm sorry for it. But dont project your bitterness at me. I came here for help because I love my wife and kids with all my heart and want nothing but the best for them. If that's something you cannot see, than that's your problem...not mine.
