Originally Posted by MEM11363

Confused,
I think you had it right earlier. It goes like this:

I need to have sex twice a week to feel emotionally connected to you. If you cannot manage that I accept that we aren't going to be emotionally connected.

And then shut up. Seriously. Do not get pulled into a discussion. Let her talk - and when she is finished telling you why you are wrong, just shrug and go do something else. Do NOT debate this point.

Because your W had her shot. She had months and months of you doing everything "her way" and it changed nothing. In fact a whole lot of your marital dynamic seems to be that you try to "get it right" and she sits there in judgement and tells you how you failed. That is a miserable way to go through life. Far better to focus on work and the kids and your friends and a hobby. And let her decide if she wants to be your partner in this marriage as opposed to your superior officer.

I would say that with my W I have about a 10 to 1 ratio. I do 10 good things for every mistake. And you know that is plenty good for her. Her ratio with me is about the same. Honestly if she focused hard on each little thing I got wrong, I would detach emotionally and leave her to her own devices.