Originally Posted by bippy17
Jayb and Lovemygirls thanks so much for the feedback. Let me tell you it really helps. Beleive me, my wife breaksdown, but still wants to be apart. By me answering her and showing my whole hand is not going to let her miss me. Sounds childish but being weak and jumping at everything she says (throwing a crumb once in a blue moon) to be the nice guy just does not work and delivers no results.
It's not like anything has changed as far as her feelings. I'm not going home tonight (staying with family). It's going to really sting later on I know it.
Jayb's advice to "play it cool. Say you understand. But let your actions speak for you. Remain calm. Relaxed. In control." sounds like it makes the most.
I want her back so bad it hurts so bad. However, I guess I have to think it's ok to go through the pain to think after pain comes success and reward. Thoughts??
I know this too. My heart is ripping. I made mistakes in our M that I'm trying to over-correct now. All of the should-haves, could-haves, would-haves are way too much for my W to consider and believe at this point. And, all of this didn't happen overnight. That's why I'm determined to be present in the moment. To think before I act. Turn-off the autopilot. Any turnaround will take time.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Because, the reward is what you do to and for YOU. I'm processing the fact that my W may have doubts, regrets, etc. and STILL want to leave. Even after the D, she may have that and STILL want to be divorced. She may have 2nd thoughts, etc., but STILL won't come back to me out fear, guilt, etc. Take those possibilities to heart.
That's why it's so important to be focused on YOU. Yes, love her. But, love YOU.
I pray that what I write to you, I can apply it to my own situation.
It is very hard.