It sounds as though rather than trying to work on the marriage as she said she would do, instead she is justifying getting out of it for her own happiness. It seems you've narrowed down the main issue to be passion in the bedroom & it sounds as though you've been fairly strong as a couple in other critical areas this is something she has been craving for a while. I have no idea how long you should keep trying, but I do think it's important that you feel you've done all you could so you don't have any regrets no matter which way it turns out. I also think you should try to focus on yourself...it's great you are going to the gym....I'd look at changing anything else that will make you feel better (hair, clothes, cologne) because I know for me I was feeling horrible on the inside so had to somewhat force it on the outside and it did help in my case. The other thing I would suggest is reading up on how to please a woman, get maxim or cosmo magazines...just read about different things that turn women on. Even if she's no longer willing to participate, it might make you feel more confident to have a few new ideas under your belt (no pun intended
) You can talk all you want about how solid you have been in so many areas, but if she's not open to listen and does not want status quo (does not see anything changing on your end) it may be to no avail. If you do end up having to start over, the last thing you want to do is end up in this position again, so focus on what you think got you here and make sure with her or anyone else down the road, it won't get here again.