Originally Posted by southern wife

Your wife needs to take responsibility for her anger and at least seek medical attention for possible postpartum depression. You sound like a wonderful husband and father, and if she refuses help/treatment, she won't like handling those 2 kids on her own without you there, and only THEN will she realize how good you are, and how good she has it. Postpartum is at least something to rule out......and go from there.

Postpartum depression symptoms:
Postpartum depression may appear to be the baby blues at first — but the signs and symptoms are more intense and longer lasting, eventually interfering with your ability to care for your baby and handle other daily tasks. Postpartum depression symptoms may include:
Loss of appetite
Insomnia
Intense irritability and anger
Overwhelming fatigue
Loss of interest in sex
Lack of joy in life
Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy
Severe mood swing
Difficulty bonding with the baby
Withdrawal from family and friends
Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby

There's no single cause for postpartum depression. Physical, emotional and lifestyle factors may all play a role.
Physical changes. After childbirth, a dramatic drop in hormones in your body (estrogen and progesterone) may contribute to postpartum depression. Other hormones produced by your thyroid gland also may drop sharply — which can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and depressed. Changes in your blood volume, blood pressure, immune system and metabolism can be further stresses that contribute to fatigue and mood swings.
Emotional factors. When you're sleep deprived and overwhelmed, you may have trouble handling even minor problems. You may be anxious about your ability to care for a newborn. You may feel less attractive or struggle with your sense of identity. You may feel that you've lost control over your life. Any of these factors can contribute to postpartum depression.
Lifestyle influences. Many lifestyle factors can lead to postpartum depression, including a demanding baby or older siblings, difficulty breast-feeding, exhaustion, financial problems, and lack of support from your partner or other loved ones.

Left untreated, postpartum depression can interfere with mother-child bonding and cause family problems. Children of mothers who have untreated postpartum depression are more likely to have behavioral problems, such as sleeping and eating difficulties, temper tantrums and hyperactivity. Delays in language development are more common as well.

Untreated postpartum depression can last up to a year or longer. Sometimes untreated postpartum depression becomes a chronic depressive disorder. Even when treated, postpartum depression increases a woman's risk of future episodes of major depression.