First of all, I rarely get blow jobs and have never gotten one to completion. My wife has TMJ and it hurts her. She also can't stand the consistancy of cum. Actually I like her hand jobs better but I would rather make love with her than any of it. So I am afraid I can't help you much. BTW I give her as much oral as she wants.
The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)