Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

COguy · 03-26-2012, 06:00 AM

Your marriage will not get better if you do not do both of these things:

1. End completely the relationship with this other woman. Not for "a few days" but 100% for good. Do not dance around the issue, this relationship is a detriment to your marriage. If you want to resume it after a divorce go ahead.

2. You need to discuss your problems with your wife. She thinks you're walking around just fine because you aren't saying anything to her. No, moping around because you did not have sex with her is not the message. Stand strong, and let her know that the relationship as is is not acceptable.

I would do this and then come clean about what's been going on. The porn, the other woman, everything. Tell her you do not like the man you have become, but also can not accept to be roommates with the woman who is supposed to be the only one in the world that can meet your needs. Let her know that you will work to be a better husband, if she can begin working to meet your needs in this area.

My personal advice. God invented sex, he wants you to have it. He wants you to have a whole bunch of it. By accepting things as they are and not fighting for how they should be, you quietly lose your manhood every day. Stand up for what's right. Not as a jerk, but as a man who knows his marriage should be strong and healthy. Work to be the best husband you can be, ignite the passion in your wife. You might want to read Married Men Sex Life or No More Mr. Nice Guy. They are not christian books, you'll have to read them with goggles on, but the methodology and actions are right on.

Also, it is not healthy, nor should you accept, that your wife puts your daughter before you. In a healthy family, God comes first, then the marriage, then the children. Children can not be put before a marriage, because if they are, there won't be a family to raise them. Both you and your wife need to focus on eachother, make time for eachother.

At the end of the day, your wife will not change unless she has a reason to. If you accept a crappy marriage, that is all you will receive. If you demand a better one, you will get it. Maybe that means you have to split, but at least you gave it a shot. Simply getting in an affair is the worst choice that you can make.

03-26-2012, 06:00 AM	#10 (permalink)
COguy Forum Supporter Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 1,555	Re: lonliness to pornography to an affair? Your marriage will not get better if you do not do both of these things: 1. End completely the relationship with this other woman. Not for "a few days" but 100% for good. Do not dance around the issue, this relationship is a detriment to your marriage. If you want to resume it after a divorce go ahead. 2. You need to discuss your problems with your wife. She thinks you're walking around just fine because you aren't saying anything to her. No, moping around because you did not have sex with her is not the message. Stand strong, and let her know that the relationship as is is not acceptable. I would do this and then come clean about what's been going on. The porn, the other woman, everything. Tell her you do not like the man you have become, but also can not accept to be roommates with the woman who is supposed to be the only one in the world that can meet your needs. Let her know that you will work to be a better husband, if she can begin working to meet your needs in this area. My personal advice. God invented sex, he wants you to have it. He wants you to have a whole bunch of it. By accepting things as they are and not fighting for how they should be, you quietly lose your manhood every day. Stand up for what's right. Not as a jerk, but as a man who knows his marriage should be strong and healthy. Work to be the best husband you can be, ignite the passion in your wife. You might want to read Married Men Sex Life or No More Mr. Nice Guy. They are not christian books, you'll have to read them with goggles on, but the methodology and actions are right on. Also, it is not healthy, nor should you accept, that your wife puts your daughter before you. In a healthy family, God comes first, then the marriage, then the children. Children can not be put before a marriage, because if they are, there won't be a family to raise them. Both you and your wife need to focus on eachother, make time for eachother. At the end of the day, your wife will not change unless she has a reason to. If you accept a crappy marriage, that is all you will receive. If you demand a better one, you will get it. Maybe that means you have to split, but at least you gave it a shot. Simply getting in an affair is the worst choice that you can make.