phantomfan

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like there are multiple things going on here (usually is). For some guys, when they slip down the slope of porn, they need more and more outrageous things to look at because the same old stuff doesn't do it. Porn and masturbation does not replace what you get from having sex with your partner. There may be some form of sex addiction on his part complicating matters. I still say the most important thing is to work on you. You can certainly call him out on it if you like. Counseling should be considered separately and together.

My wife admitted to me this week she's noticed my efforts to look better and is afraid I'm going to be "too attractive" to other women. She thinks I will leave her when another woman pays attention to the new and improved me. I'm sure she thinks that the playing field is equal between her and any other woman. That's totally not true, the deck is stacked heavily in her favor. In my case, I want her to win, mission (partially) accomplished.

I could have left her hanging in the wind but I chose to give a partial reassurance. In a joking manner but somewhat serious, I told her that when things are being taken care of at home, she had no reason to worry about that. I did also tell her that I didn't want anyone else. Both are true. In the past I would have just told her the latter and not reminded her that she has an active role in keeping me on the straight and narrow.

We had sex 5 times last week and each time was spot on. On one hand, it was also a difficult and roller coaster kind of week. There were conflicts and things I didn't do correctly but things are headed in the right direction for my situation. I'm not about to rest on my laurels either. I have work to do still on my body and myself. Moving in a positive direction for you will either get you what you want or lead you to getting what you need. Hopefully what you want will be.