mollyL

I was waiting for the midlife crisis words to be spoken and finally they were. If your husband has just turned into his 50s, I believe that this is not only midlife crisis psychologically, but physically as well. Starting in the thirties sometime, your husband began to have a drop in testosterone, as all men his age do. It has been so gradual that he hasn't noticed. Now his testosterone is quite low; this also has to do with his "midlife crisis" psychology as well, they can go hand-in-hand. He is reacting to his lack of testosterone by trying to revisit his youth, that's where the girl comes in. You know all his jokes, his stories, his lines, but the girl doesn't. He is enjoying impressing a girl again. Her husband reminds him of his youth as well, and so he spends all kinds of time at their home. His new church doesn't know him as a man of 50, they know him as the friend of the young couple. Getting my drift yet? He doesn't even need to sleep with the girl to get what he desires, his youth back. You haven't said whether you guys have sex at all; if he has difficulties attaining erection with you he might well have difficulties with her and he wouldn't want to let her know that.
I think that after he's well known to the couple and their church, they will stop "admiring" him and just see him as the middle-aged gent. I think he will be back with you, because he should be right about ready for the comfort of someone who's known him for years and years. If he does come home, you guys should head to a counselor immediately. The counselor may want to see you separately as well as a couple, because it sounds like you have more issues than just this immediate problem.