Scarry Times - and a 22 mo old baby in the middle of it
I was very successful prior to meeting my wife....i knew she would be attracted to my money because I know women seek security. But for some dumb reason I left her in charge of our spending the day we got married. It was by far the stupidest thing I have ever done....aside from marrying her. But I felt I had to because she was pregnant with my daughter who is now about to turn 2 years old.
Anyhow, I had some horrible business deals happen, including a big lawsuit which wiped me out almost completely as of 6 months back. We've been living off some savings I had but I've lost a lot of the urge to make money again because of that horrible feeling of being "used" again.
Once the money starting disappearing my wife started to change....she was upset all the time and she stopped having sex with me.
I then turned to the bottle. I became an alcoholic and began abusing both liquor and cocaine....
I've managed to cut it out of my life after a year-long bender. I'm 3 weeks sober but my wife is driving me nuts. Just 3 weeks back I fell off the wagon because she said some horrible things to me:
a. I married you for the money.....(followed by)
b. you should kill yourself at least than we'll get some money from life insurance.
I lost it and I did the only thing I knew how to do......i got drunk and told her off.
But I woke up and I felt horrible....horrible because my daughter witnessed my behavior and because when I drink I can kill a gallon of alcohol by myself. Not a proud feat.
She called my mother yesterday to tell her she was going to leave me.....i was heart broken because I don't want to be without my daughter....
Right now though I think it's the best thing to do....we truly hate each other.
And I don't like "hating" people because you feel awful inside.
I'm a student of people like Tony Robbins and Jim Rohn and this isn't the kind of lifestyle I'm use to.