Originally Posted by ScarlettGrace
You know, we could all fight about this, but it really is getting silly. There is plenty truth on BOTH SIDES. She needs to make it work if she wants it to work. He needs to not treat her like a s**t and a wh*re If he wants to punish her for her wrong, then he is wrong. If he feels she lacks remorse, he should have enough self-respect and leave. At any rate, who would want sex from a wife not ready to give sex if he truly and honestly loves her? (But there just might be more here than meets the eye. (More on this below).
And please, don't go off half-c*cked telling me that she wasn't loving to him. Just don't. That's not only tautological, it's also asinine. Not when he hasn't (seemingly) been willing to face up to his end. (And every single one of us has ends).
It is just as wrong to stay in a marriage that is a lie/farce as it is to cheat on one's spouse. I know this may seem a little futuristic, but people (especially women) are not property (crazy, right?!), and those vows are no more sacred than the bond between the two people reciting them.
My ex watched porn for years before coming clean. I already knew there was an issue because he had nothing left for me (physically, sexually, and emotionally) when he came to bed at night. I am a very pretty woman. But at 27 years old, I was too young to know how to handle the reality of that situation. I had this amazing libido and a 27 year old husband that didn't want me. I was going crazy trying to figure out how to get him to notice me, not knowing that he wasn’t into me. HE WAS BREAKING OUR MARRIAGE VOWS. He didn't have to sleep with a stranger; he brought her/them into bed with him every time I gave him sex.
At that point, our marriage was over. Although we remained together for another 8 years, it doesn't matter. Although I left him, it doesn't matter. He chose to quit on us. He didn't want to work it out. He didn't want to grow with me. He just wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. Sound familiar?
Now, excuse me for being a little inflamed when I say that the way the author of this thread began was more than a little jacked up! Who begins a thread with cursing and a comparative of the way one’s adored wife "fu&$ed" OM and not him. If he is thinking about her with the OM, how can he even get it up?! Am I the only one seeing this? It's sick and twisted!
And then there was no self-discovery by the author of this thread--absolutely no introspection, all he wants to do is make sure she pays. Well, more power to him, I suppose!
Finally, just a supposition. . . but maybe he hopes to make his wife miserable so she will leave him, because he doesn't have the guts to admit he doesn't want their marriage anymore either (but he doesn't want to seem/come out like a "bad" guy, ya see).
Yeah, my ex was like that.