| | Re: An open request from one of the men
Just my thoughts, short of saying "Get out and never come back", to a man there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that says "I don't love you and I don't want you" more strongly than his wife consistently refusing to have sex with him. Sex begrudgingly given is not gonna cut it here either, I mean sex because she desires her man. To a man, sex releases the emotional response of "I feel loved and accepted by you, and I love you and I need you" the powerful emotional response of "I can't live without you". Don't kid yourselves ladies, men need a healthy sex life to be content in the relationship. It is the key to releasing the emotional response that so many of you crave. If you refuse to meet your mans sexual needs, I GUARANTEE you will kill his emotional interest and love for you. This is a need, not a want. (I am not talking about excessive,unreasonable or abusive sexual demands.)
I think (?) for women it works in reverse, if her man meets her emotional needs it releases her sexual desire for him (I think so anyway).
So if the relatisonship is healthy and strong, I think it goes in a cycle, man provides emotional inputs to woman (courting, pursuing, chasing which makes her feel special and wanted), woman provides sexual intimacy, which releases emotional response from man, man then pursue his woman, etc. To some extent, it works in reverse roles too, but with far less power and consistency.
Sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction are mirror images of the same piece of the puzzle. They are not separate things, they are inseperably tied together in a healthy relationship. It is like a person, you can not separate a persons soul from thier body, neither entity can exist without the other (not in this life anyway...I don't know about what happens in the next life). The man is the body, the woman is the soul, they make one being, neither can be complete without the other.
What I have said above is just my thoughts and theories, but what I am saying below is absolute FACT in my personal experience.
Ladies, trust me on this one, if you shutdown sexually I GUARANTEE he will shutdown emotionally. This talk of a man not "needing" sex is total and absolute crap! If you want your marriage to survive in the long term, meeting your mans sexual needs is not an optional extra, it is vital. Equally, your man has a responsibility to do his best to meet your emotional needs, again, not an optional extra, it is vital. They are masculine and feminine versions of the same thing.