carmaenforcer

If you think counseling might help even a bit, then I say go for it.
I had a very similar situation with my Wife when we were first dating, and I have always been a very confident, sure of myself individual, and I would feel like crap sometimes due to this womans selfish uncaring ways. Like I said, she is my Wife now and if you read some of my other posts you will see that we still have major problems but not that one so much anymore.
She will always be a selfish person but I forced fairness in our relationship. What I mean by forced fairness, is just that, I became the great equalizer. Only doing as much as I thought she deserved which wasn't much most of the time and treating her like garbage sometimes when I felt she was doing that to me. A taste of her own medicine so to speak. Doing this, in of itself doesn't really work too well or at least that's how it seemed, but it did finally help a little.
You see, she would eventually brake down (as the victim) at which time I told her why I was treating her like garbage, siting all of her bad behavior and rude comments or plain meanness as the reason she was getting the treatment she was getting from me in return.
Be strong my friend, women suck sometime but I hear there are good, nice, caring ones out there. But until you find that one don't be a victim to all the bi_ches out there, K...