Coping

To Swedish

First I want to say thank you for all of your replies to me.

Your comment about "but if he broke things off with her abruptly" He did. As I stated in my first post, he heard me on the phone, after about 10 minutes he told me that he would call me back, twenty minutes later he did. In those minutes he was telling her that it is over, that he is not going to throw away nearly ten years of marriage.

I later found out that while he was on the phone with me, confessing, she had been trying to call. They spoke again for just a couple of minutes after him and I hung up and again he states that he told her that he wants nothing more to do with her. I told him that there was no need for the last phone call. (I found out by reviewing his phone bill). But like I told Sweetp101 I have been monitoring his phone bill and there has not been any contact between them, but I also said that he could always be using a different phone.

Here's the thing that plays with my head though, text messages. His phone bill will not show the phone numbers to the incoming and outgoing text messages unless he goes over the alloted minutes that he has on his plan.

But something inside of me tells me that it is and has been over between them since the night of February 13th. I just hope that I am right. He has made every effort possible to show me he is truly sorry for the pain that he has caused. We went to our first counseling meeting together and our next one is scheduled for next weekend.

The therapist wants to see us separately. To be honest, I'm not to comfortable with that. Reason being is that I want for my husband to hear everything that I have to say. I want him to know everything that I am feeling. I also want to know what he and the therapist say. Is that a bad thing? It makes me feel as if he will say something to the therapist that he should be saying to me. You know, more honestly about all of this.

As for the coming at him screaming/yelling, I haven't, not since that night on the phone. Ever since he walked in the door 30 minutes after getting off the phone with me that initial night I have spoken to him calm manner. I have expressed to him quite a few times about my feelings of pain, hurt, anger, betrayal and the unconditional trust that I had for him that he has shattered along with my heart. By the same token I have also expressed to him the love that I feel for him and what he means to me. The love that I have always felt for him. But I have also made it clear to him that if he were to ever, ever do this to me again that I would not be able to go through it again and I won't.

As for him wanting to help me get through this, he has stated that he will do whatever it takes.