swedish

I am in the same boat. Even though he ended it, trust has been broken and no matter how transparent he's been living, I still struggle with doubts. I found out in July and although it's much better, it's not totally gone. You sound like you are handling this in the same way that I am and your husband is also responding in the same way as mine. We are both private people, so it was much easier for me to seek counseling alone. I would say even more true if I had been the unfaithful party--it would be humiliating/intimidating enough to say things out loud much less to more than one person. I think the main thing for him is to get to the root of how he got to where he got and it may go to his past before he knew you, etc. and for him to feel he's addressed whatever issues he may have as an individual. Hopefully, you will be able to have honest discussions with him since you both have the same goal in mind now. I know what you are saying...I feel like I was left in the dark enough and wish I could just live in his head for a while to see what he is really thinking.