Originally Posted by shinyzebra
People watch it, I get it.
I love a lot of porn myself too.
I want to discuss porn with my man. I want to say it is ok and both include it and let him watch it himself.
I have not accused or forced any confessions, but he denies watching it even though he does. I wish he wouldn't lie about it or this conversation would have already taken place in a lighthearted more casual manner.
I am often sexually frustrated and telling him this and pointing out his porn-watching together could be offensive and I see it turning him into defense mode and the convo being an argument instead of something helpful. I would also have to admit to snooping. haha. I know there are no excuses, but for a serious relationship to succeed I need to know the libido is there on his part as well. (We are not married yet but it doesn't seem that far out of the picture).
I have initiated the 'lets watch porn together' more than once. I find the awkwardness of what to watch both amusing and annoying as there can be hesitation revealing knowing one's way around sites and/or preferences. (Is there a random porn generating site out there for couples? there should be)
I thought including/enjoying it together a few times was a good place to start but seeing as he hasn't applauded me for it or taken any hints about it or initiated it himself I am not sure what to do now. Do I have to make this into a serious sit-down awkward conversation?
Suggestions? Thoughts? Comments? Stories?
Maybe you need to catch him "with his pants down", tell him keep going and help him finish off. Hard to say. There could be many reasons he's hiding it. I agree honesty and putting it out in the open needs to happen. If you want it, just tell him what you want. Your turn to come over and don't forget the porn ;-)