Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenya26
I think that I can feel what you are saying. Since I have joined, I have made it a point that when I decide to respond to someone to do so in the best way that I can. I know what you mean.....when someone tells you the obvious answer it becomes more like duh.....I knew that, I wanted you to share some of your lifes experiences with me and provide real-life examples and answers not the obvious. I totally understand what you mean. I was trying to get an answer myself and someone responded to me like a child, mind you while restating what I said and what was obvious. It makes you question the intent of help groups or forums such as this one. I have to admit though that so far, for the most part, I have really enjoyed being invited into the lives of others and having them share in my problems and help me to come up with some solutions. I didn't take what you said the wrong way at all, here...in this forum, you don't want to feel like you are talking to your mother getting a strong "I told you so".
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Just remember many people that post here do so as a favor and they do it in a way that they feel comfortable to do so.
I looked over your selfish thread and fond nothing of the duh you explained, rather people asking for clarification or to expand to what you had written because they did not know well enough to respond to you.
Like a psychologist the best medicine is not always to give an answer because most people know what they should do. The best thing for most people is to learn to get the answer and be able to work through there own problems.
Like others on these forums this is but one stop one forums that I make I am a regular on six daily, although a little less for many reasons then I use to be. But the point is why bother to dedicate time, and energy into things if people blow it off. For me this has been a surreal experience. I am lucky to have a great relationship and a wonderful wife however, I learned to never take what I have for granted and each time I come on here it make me feel like I can double check my relationship and make it better. But beyound that I also get connected to those that I am helping. I have IM some of them, talked through pm's with some of them etc. But in the end I feel for them like as if they where my friends.
It is so easy to say I communicate with my S/O. But do you really? How would you rate it and how would they? Do you listen to them. How is your temper? Do you talk down to them? etc. Communication can mean many different things for many people. The biggest problem with relationships is true communication skills between partners.
Some posts I give the quickest shortest answers to that I can. Sometimes that sinks in the best, sometimes I just have to many I want to reply to and often I have an idea of where to go but not sure how to get there.
Personally I am often the second post on questions. For me this is a hugh disadvantage because I can not build on the great advice other might add. Often people take what I write and add a bit more to mine, some even give me kudos. But all in all it doesn't bother me because I would rather as many views and opinions replying to a poster as possible.
I have personally had many people thank me, and had a few that didn't have a single nice thing to say to me or about me because they didn't like my opinion.
In the end it is all opinions, and that is the greatness of these forums you can take the stuff that you want. There are certain people I am more apt to read other then new posters because I value their opinions and like to see what they have to say. That isn't to say that I don't read all the posts because I do but some I save for time when I have more time.
SO while ever one may not post the way you'd like I don't think you could find as many people any where acting alike. If you prefer a post in a special way then have that in your opening.
draconis