Originally Posted by endlessgrief
The best one was we were making love and I got in the mood for some rough sex. I love having my hair pulled and I die if I am bitten on the inside of the thigh. My husband is very cool and quiet, not one to initiate violent sex. So as he is making love to me, I keep saying HARDER! HARDER! And hubby was panicking because he didn't know what to do. To him, he was doing it harder. What did I want? Then I screamed HARDER again and then he slapped me in the face! ALL SEX STOPPED. I leaned up and started yelling, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? ARE YOU CRAZY? HITTING ME IN THE FACE? and he shrugged his shoulders and said quietly, WELL YOU SAID YOU WANTED IT HARDER, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I told him, NOT THAT JACKASS! Then we fell to the bed in fits of laughter.
Reading this thread has made me feel a lot better today! Hilarious stuff.
Reminds me of one time when me and my husband are going at on the bed, but somehow we're edging closer and closer to the headboard until my head smacks it. It wasn't his fault, but I lightly slap him in the face. He looks so confused, and then flicked me!!! Next thing I know, we're in a full blown wrestle which leaves us both in fits of laughter... mainly because he's 5' 10" and I'm a tiny 5' 2".
We also have an ongoing joke about this light blue dress my mother bought me (wedding present since she didn't bother coming...) I never liked wearing it because of how I acquired it, but one day I did and now I have a reaosn not to that's legit: tried initiating a BJ for my husband whilst wearing it, and he wouldn't let me because he kept laughing, "I can't let a freaking Smurf give me a blowjob... it's just wrong".
Blue dress lives with the tea towels in the kitchen now.