Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Unhappy about Girlfriends past-Help me!!

Jeff/BC · 04-05-2012, 12:03 AM

She had a one night stand with my brother, and she is now with me, I think that drives me crazy, especially at family events. My brother is happy in a relationship now, but it drives me nuts to know they had been with each other. This is probably drives me insane the most, and not so much the abortions or the kid. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Ahhhh yes... hard to not imagine your brother on top of her eh? You probably don't want to imagine her under all the other guys either.

Perhaps a change in perspective will help here. Let's talk about me, not you... me and my wife Carol. I'd like to ask your advice about something if I may. But first, the background.

Carol is a good, good woman. She is loyal, obedient, loving, intelligent, kind, sexually adventurous, she looks great in a little black dress, and she owns a 220 volt band saw. Seriously, she's a really, really good wife. The word "no" is not in her vocabulary with me. Go ahead. Let your imagination run wild. Yeah... that. And aside from that, you should see the look of love in her eyes when she looks at me. It's actually a bit astonishing... and humbling. Really, I could go on and on like that for paragraphs -- pages -- a long time. How about we just agree that I did to save everyone's eyes?

But there's this problem. It's recently come to my attention that she was not a virgin when we met. In fact, there's been a few guys on top of her over the years... and a few women too. Suddenly, the woman I just described above is looking... well... used. Suddenly, she's not looking so attractive. I mean sure. She still wakes me up with sex every morning. And yes, she brings coffee if she's up first. And sure she still cooks and cleans for me. Oh yes... I hadn't mentioned before... she's the only one working so she's also bringing home the bacon before she fries it up in the pan. Oh, and she still loves me like nobody has ever loved me before. All that's still true. But man.... at some foggy point in the past she apparently had sex with someone else.

So what's your advice? Should I drop her and move on?

Oh, and one more question. After I move on, where would you suggest I find another woman like her?

Thanks for your help
~Jeff
ps: Carol didn't like this answer so I'm downgrading her from super-spectacularly-awesomely-wonderful down to merely incredibly-spectacularly-awesomely-wonderful if that changes your thoughts any.

04-05-2012, 12:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
Jeff/BC Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 360	Re: Unhappy about Girlfriends past-Help me!! She had a one night stand with my brother, and she is now with me, I think that drives me crazy, especially at family events. My brother is happy in a relationship now, but it drives me nuts to know they had been with each other. This is probably drives me insane the most, and not so much the abortions or the kid. So any advice would be greatly appreciated. Ahhhh yes... hard to not imagine your brother on top of her eh? You probably don't want to imagine her under all the other guys either. Perhaps a change in perspective will help here. Let's talk about me, not you... me and my wife Carol. I'd like to ask your advice about something if I may. But first, the background. Carol is a good, good woman. She is loyal, obedient, loving, intelligent, kind, sexually adventurous, she looks great in a little black dress, and she owns a 220 volt band saw. Seriously, she's a really, really good wife. The word "no" is not in her vocabulary with me. Go ahead. Let your imagination run wild. Yeah... that. And aside from that, you should see the look of love in her eyes when she looks at me. It's actually a bit astonishing... and humbling. Really, I could go on and on like that for paragraphs -- pages -- a long time. How about we just agree that I did to save everyone's eyes? But there's this problem. It's recently come to my attention that she was not a virgin when we met. In fact, there's been a few guys on top of her over the years... and a few women too. Suddenly, the woman I just described above is looking... well... used. Suddenly, she's not looking so attractive. I mean sure. She still wakes me up with sex every morning. And yes, she brings coffee if she's up first. And sure she still cooks and cleans for me. Oh yes... I hadn't mentioned before... she's the only one working so she's also bringing home the bacon before she fries it up in the pan. Oh, and she still loves me like nobody has ever loved me before. All that's still true. But man.... at some foggy point in the past she apparently had sex with someone else. So what's your advice? Should I drop her and move on? Oh, and one more question. After I move on, where would you suggest I find another woman like her? Thanks for your help ~Jeff ps: Carol didn't like this answer so I'm downgrading her from super-spectacularly-awesomely-wonderful down to merely incredibly-spectacularly-awesomely-wonderful if that changes your thoughts any.