Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Handling a move...a 2 year old...and life...
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Old 04-10-2012, 10:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
Wut2Do
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 17
Default Handling a move...a 2 year old...and life...

Lots of family changes coming up.

Now that I'm done with school, I've been able to really make a lot of headway with my business. In doing so, we're gearing up to move to California in about 3 months. My wife is ecstatic, yet she's depressed on and off, from trying to deal with her back pain. That puts a huge strain on our relationship.

We've talked about moving to California since we've been together for the last 8 years, and I can honestly say, we've finally managed to make it happen.

I gotta say though, regardless of her back pain, nothing challenges a marriage more than a 2 year old in my opinion.

Recently, my son has taken a much stronger bond when he's injured or sad with me, than his mom. I know I probably shouldn't do it, but sometimes I find it a bit comical that he does this, and obviously laugh. My wife gets pretty mad that I find it funny. She feels hurt, by both of us...It's just my personality I guess. I think nothing of it because I mean seriously, the kids 2. They go through all sorts of weird development phases.

How do you guys deal with this stuff? Is there anything that works to appease your spouse into not feeling 'rejected' from their child?

I've tried to get my wife go to couples therapy here in town (I can get it for $15 / session due to having a student income). I've had it setup each time, and she's a bit surprised I think that I'm serious about doing it, yet each time, she backs out of doing it at the last moment. I feel that there are things in which talking to a professional out loud about, even when there aren't any issues in a relationship which can help a lot. I think she's afraid of somehow opening up pandora's box with her childhood which was pretty bad and not being able to cope.

Any advice for this? I don't want to force her to go, and told her I think its just good relationship building regardless of the place we are...so it's non-confrontational...

tl:dr; We're going to move, but things are challenging because of my wife's back pains. 2 year old is coming to me for comfort, instead of mom, and it's making her upset, yet I get a bit of a laugh out of it since he's only 2, then she's pissed at me. How do you guys deal with this? Any advice to get my wife to actually go to couples therapy with me? We've tried, but she's always backed out at the last minute.
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