Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - I cheated-- do I tell him?

mommy22 · 04-09-2008, 08:09 AM

I have decided to stay and stick this out. I haven't spoken with TOM in a while and never will again. It's true, there's a lot of baggage, anger, resentment, past issues that I didn't get into in my post because I didn't want to sound like I was justifying my behavior. It's very difficult when you communicate what you need for years and years, giving it all you've got and not getting it in return. The word divorce never came up in our marriage until a few months ago. The scare of losing me made him make some changes. It's easy to become complacent in relationships after so many years. He became married to his job and I felt neglected. Physical acts were very few and far between in this affair. It was much more emotionally based. My husband now realizes how much I need him to talk to me instead of working all day and falling asleep with the kids unless he wants sex (then he's wide awake and ready to go!). I just got restless, depressed, and bored. I'm now more confused than ever on whether to tell him or not from the mixed reviews. Is there a guy out there who has been cheated on who is thankful his wife told him? Or, on the other hand, is there someone who was cheated on and wished she just would've made the relationship better with him and left him in the dark on the whole thing? I've tried to put myself in his shoes-- would I want to know or not?

04-09-2008, 08:09 AM	#10 (permalink)
mommy22 Moderator Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 85	Re: I cheated-- do I tell him? I have decided to stay and stick this out. I haven't spoken with TOM in a while and never will again. It's true, there's a lot of baggage, anger, resentment, past issues that I didn't get into in my post because I didn't want to sound like I was justifying my behavior. It's very difficult when you communicate what you need for years and years, giving it all you've got and not getting it in return. The word divorce never came up in our marriage until a few months ago. The scare of losing me made him make some changes. It's easy to become complacent in relationships after so many years. He became married to his job and I felt neglected. Physical acts were very few and far between in this affair. It was much more emotionally based. My husband now realizes how much I need him to talk to me instead of working all day and falling asleep with the kids unless he wants sex (then he's wide awake and ready to go!). I just got restless, depressed, and bored. I'm now more confused than ever on whether to tell him or not from the mixed reviews. Is there a guy out there who has been cheated on who is thankful his wife told him? Or, on the other hand, is there someone who was cheated on and wished she just would've made the relationship better with him and left him in the dark on the whole thing? I've tried to put myself in his shoes-- would I want to know or not? Last edited by mommy22; 04-25-2008 at 06:14 AM.