Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Treated like crap but H wants me to just forget the past....

luckycardinal · 04-11-2012, 08:24 AM

To TheArchitect -

You have been physically abused (yes, men can be abused or battered, too) and you're ok with just blowing it off and letting it go? If my husband ever laid a finger on me, he'd find himself in jail so fast his head would swim. Women who scratch and hit men need to go to jail, too. I would never live with a physical abuser.

And to MarriedWoman -

I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a while. I'd have left a long time ago but we have kids and he will make my life a living hell (he has promised to do so) when I leave. I'm afraid of him and don't know where to get help since there is no physical abuse (shelters around here won't take emotional abuse cases). If your husband has recognized he's been abusive in the past and wants to work on it, why don't you work on it while you're not living together? Maybe you could start counseling and start "dating" again to see if there is anything worth saving. Just forgetting the past would probably be a huge mistake as he would decide he could abuse you again and you would take him back again. I'd try to work on things while you two are separated and only get back together if he shows CONCRETE, long-term evidence that he's changed.

04-11-2012, 08:24 AM	#8 (permalink)
luckycardinal Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: down south Posts: 70	Re: Treated like crap but H wants me to just forget the past.... To TheArchitect - You have been physically abused (yes, men can be abused or battered, too) and you're ok with just blowing it off and letting it go? If my husband ever laid a finger on me, he'd find himself in jail so fast his head would swim. Women who scratch and hit men need to go to jail, too. I would never live with a physical abuser. And to MarriedWoman - I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a while. I'd have left a long time ago but we have kids and he will make my life a living hell (he has promised to do so) when I leave. I'm afraid of him and don't know where to get help since there is no physical abuse (shelters around here won't take emotional abuse cases). If your husband has recognized he's been abusive in the past and wants to work on it, why don't you work on it while you're not living together? Maybe you could start counseling and start "dating" again to see if there is anything worth saving. Just forgetting the past would probably be a huge mistake as he would decide he could abuse you again and you would take him back again. I'd try to work on things while you two are separated and only get back together if he shows CONCRETE, long-term evidence that he's changed.