Panic, stress, fear, and extreme indecisiveness
Okay, I am near the end of a bitter divorce involving my two year old daughter. We recently were successful with mediation, but when the time came to finalize everything, my wife decided she wants to work on our marriage. This in itself is a difficult decision, but let me give you some background information that complicates the matter more.
I am 28. My wife and I have been married for seven years. We had a very good marriage until the stress around moving, changing jobs, and raising a baby crept in. My wife was the one to insist on separation. She said she wanted to work on our marriage through counseling, but wanted to see other people as well.
We were doing well with counseling. I asked (begged) her to reconsider seeing other people. She adamantly refused. Out of fear and sadness, I started seeing another girl. During this time my wife did some very hurtful things to me including not letting me see my little girl.
My relationship with this other girl was very casual. That is, up until the time I found out she was pregnant. This added a whole new level of stress and anxiety to the equation. We have tried to cohabitate, but it has been rocky to say the least. Much of our problem has been centered around still having feelings for my wife and the life I once had.
Most recently, the new girl and I decided to separate for a bit until I can sort my emotions out. My wife is aware of all of this and wants to give it another try. Additionally, it should be known, that there is a chance this child is not even mine.
I am extremely overwhelmed and struck with a feeling of fear and indecisiveness. It seems like no matter what I do I hurt someone. Please help me!