Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

easysilence · 07-02-2009, 12:50 PM

I made an appt. Sorry if I sound irrational. I'm sure I do. But this is the only place I can even talk about this and sorry, but I go a little nuts.

So the emotional abuse, I still haven't given examples. Well, it's HARD to give examples of emotional abuse. What I can tell you is this:
I used to have friends, but he didn't like them and would really give me the third degree if I hung out with them. He would put them down, call them names, and finally it got to the point where he forbade be to go to lunch with my best friend any more. So now the only friends I have are his friends and I have little to no contact with them unless he is around.
I used to like to hang out with my brothers. But they didn't get along with him, and they would get angry at me for staying with him, siding with him. And then one by one, my brothers had major falling-outs with him and now I don't see them at all.
I used to like to build things. I used to like to use power tools and had plenty of knowledge how to use them, how to paint, how to make things. But after I got with hubby, all that changed. Every tool I used, I used it wrong. Everything I did, he had reasons why it wasn't right and he should do it. Now I feel like I can barely turn a screwdriver.
I used to have pride in my work. I have worked HARD to get where I am (I am the main breadwinner) and have significantly increased my income over the past four years, even with the recession. But when I get home and want to talk about my day, he refuses to listen. He absolutely does not care and tells me so.
However, he talks about himself all the time. If I have to listen to him say, "My arms look big, don't they?" or "I'm getting a good tan, huh?" ever again I may scream. And if I don't agree with him heartily enough, I'm an a** hole.

And if he DOES act nice to me, I have to be appropriately grateful or it will cause a huge fight. How I actually FEEL has nothing to do with anything. For example, if he cleans the kitchen I'm expected to kiss his a** for around a week. Well, I don't want to. I don't get my a** kissed for cleaning the kitchen! But if I don't, I'm an ingrate and he keeps bringing up how he cleaned the kitchen and I should be happy about it. Ugh, what's the point?

So these are some examples.

07-02-2009, 12:50 PM	#15 (permalink)
easysilence Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 74	Re: Time to end it? I made an appt. Sorry if I sound irrational. I'm sure I do. But this is the only place I can even talk about this and sorry, but I go a little nuts. So the emotional abuse, I still haven't given examples. Well, it's HARD to give examples of emotional abuse. What I can tell you is this: I used to have friends, but he didn't like them and would really give me the third degree if I hung out with them. He would put them down, call them names, and finally it got to the point where he forbade be to go to lunch with my best friend any more. So now the only friends I have are his friends and I have little to no contact with them unless he is around. I used to like to hang out with my brothers. But they didn't get along with him, and they would get angry at me for staying with him, siding with him. And then one by one, my brothers had major falling-outs with him and now I don't see them at all. I used to like to build things. I used to like to use power tools and had plenty of knowledge how to use them, how to paint, how to make things. But after I got with hubby, all that changed. Every tool I used, I used it wrong. Everything I did, he had reasons why it wasn't right and he should do it. Now I feel like I can barely turn a screwdriver. I used to have pride in my work. I have worked HARD to get where I am (I am the main breadwinner) and have significantly increased my income over the past four years, even with the recession. But when I get home and want to talk about my day, he refuses to listen. He absolutely does not care and tells me so. However, he talks about himself all the time. If I have to listen to him say, "My arms look big, don't they?" or "I'm getting a good tan, huh?" ever again I may scream. And if I don't agree with him heartily enough, I'm an a hole. And if he DOES act nice to me, I have to be appropriately grateful or it will cause a huge fight. How I actually FEEL has nothing to do with anything. For example, if he cleans the kitchen I'm expected to kiss his a for around a week. Well, I don't want to. I don't get my a** kissed for cleaning the kitchen! But if I don't, I'm an ingrate and he keeps bringing up how he cleaned the kitchen and I should be happy about it. Ugh, what's the point? So these are some examples.