Originally Posted by marieJa
I see that I have to want to have the sex / fake to want to have the sex in order to be a good wife & make him stay with me.
Actually yes. This is exactly the difference between a really good friend and a wife/mate. The intimacy and sexual connection. You should either be doing it because you want it, or you want to do it for him because you love him. Your current schedule of two or three times a week is fine as long as you are coming across as enthusiastic and not begrudgedly.
You have a fairly uniform response here from everyone - but you are unwilling to hear it as you would like to convince us otherwise.
It comes down to this. If you seriously feel "violated" being intimate and having sex with your husband then you have some issues you need to deal with. He sounds from your own description as a very loving, responsible, caring, affectionate man. And your relationship sounds like what many people would kill for. You are a lucky woman.
However, should you decide to treat him more as a friend - the very best result you will get is that he will become one. A more likely outcome is the relationship will fail and you will both move on.
And your odds of finding as "GOOD" a man, that has as low a sex drive as yourself are probably about 1000000 to 1. So unless your really happy with cats I would think your best interest is to enjoy a very good sounding relationship with a very good sounding husband.
Who obviously loves you very much.