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henley · 04-13-2012, 09:43 PM

My H has been "getting out of dodge" frequently since I discovered his EA/PA with a coworker. His psychiatrist has told him that he needs time to figure out his own issues (major depression) before he can begin to work on our marriage. He has interpreted this as leaving town to get "time and space" for himself (I am aware many people will say are you sure the A is over)

The day before he planned on leaving on his most recent "get away" I asked him why he had to keep leaving when I NEED him right now to work through what I am going through. He said that he felt like he hadn't had any true solitude since the past number of times he had left we had continued to talk on the phone or thru text.

I decided to embrace the "180" and we hadn't talked at all since he left. Tonight, about 48 hours after we last talked, he texted me saying Hi. When I didn't answer he said, Alright, I hope you are Ok, Goodnight. And when I didn't respond to that, he said Goodnight again. Then again, Ok, I'm done, sorry for bugging you, hope you had a good week at work, night.

He is obviously trying to get me to communicate with him but WHY??? Isn't he the one that wanted the "time and space" in the first place.

Am I hurting my chances at R by not responding? I feel like I barely have the will power to not respond.

04-13-2012, 09:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
henley Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 61	What does he want?? My H has been "getting out of dodge" frequently since I discovered his EA/PA with a coworker. His psychiatrist has told him that he needs time to figure out his own issues (major depression) before he can begin to work on our marriage. He has interpreted this as leaving town to get "time and space" for himself (I am aware many people will say are you sure the A is over) The day before he planned on leaving on his most recent "get away" I asked him why he had to keep leaving when I NEED him right now to work through what I am going through. He said that he felt like he hadn't had any true solitude since the past number of times he had left we had continued to talk on the phone or thru text. I decided to embrace the "180" and we hadn't talked at all since he left. Tonight, about 48 hours after we last talked, he texted me saying Hi. When I didn't answer he said, Alright, I hope you are Ok, Goodnight. And when I didn't respond to that, he said Goodnight again. Then again, Ok, I'm done, sorry for bugging you, hope you had a good week at work, night. He is obviously trying to get me to communicate with him but WHY??? Isn't he the one that wanted the "time and space" in the first place. Am I hurting my chances at R by not responding? I feel like I barely have the will power to not respond.