| | Re: I want sex once a month - why should I have it more often?
Heck it's late and I don't feel like waiting for an answer, so I'll tell you that if you don't show him love in the bedroom. If he (esp being HD) doesn't feel that, he may go on and seem to be fine for months, years even. It will eventually catch up and something will change in him.
Eventually he won't feel that you love him or care for him. You can do all sorts of wonderful things out of the bedroom, and in his head he'll know you love him... but he won't feel it in his heart.
I'll tell you in my case for 12 years I felt that our love for each other was enough, that we could get by even though sex was about 1-3x a month on average. It wasn't. There was no big event, nothing that clearly triggered a change but a change happened all the same. At some point I felt a hole inside and it ached.
That ache is only stronger now 3 years later (now about 15 years into marriage). We are going to counselling for it, we have more sex now. Still that hole is there. It's not just the amount of sex, even though that's part of it. It's the sense that the sex is more than just going through the motions. That it's a genuine demonstration by your wife that she loves you body and soul. Without that I feel hollow and empty inside. Unloved and uncared for.
In my head I know she loves me, outside the bedroom we are the best of friends. We laugh out loud sometimes so loud we fear we will wake the kids down the hall. Yet I still don't FEEL loved. I feel like her best friend, but not like her husband. I know she loves me in my head, but it's not enough.