Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

DeniseK · 07-04-2009, 09:33 AM

My hubby of 9 years has told me he is leaving me. He can't give me any reason, except that he just doesn't love me. He is addicted to video games(Ps3) and alcohol. I now suspect that he is using steroids. We separated 5 months ago and two months into the separation...he came home.

The reason for our first separation was the alcohol....and his neglect for me and the children. I initated the separation...telling him to go take some time and be sure we were what he wanted. He saw a laywer....but then....he suddenly decided he was wrong. Says he found God. I am a christian woman and I am delighted with that...except....it didn't last.

He is home for a month and the video game addiction just got worse...then he started talking to me about wanting to drink. Two weeks ago...things got rapidly worse. He stopped wanting me and the kids around....pushing us away. He spent up to 23 hours in one week on video game playing.

Our issues were far from resolved but after one session of counseling.....he believed he was fine....refused to go back. We were planning a trip with his family (who think he does no wrong) for this 4th of July weekend. Two days before the trip...he drops the bomb...He is leaving me.

I knew something was up....he had refused to say he loved me for almost three days and had not come within three feet of me. He wouldn't talk to me or look at me or have anything to do with our kids. 5 and 8....15. So, after he told me he was leaving....he said he wanted me to still go on the trip.

Foolishly....I did....and it was (duh) a disaster. I ended up having to call my sister to come get me and the kids....because his family were enabling his behavior towards me and the kids. he barely acknowledged us.....wouldn't play with his children in the water park....and spent that whole first day....playing like a teenager with his brother.

It was foolish of me to go...but I kind of thought it was some kind of test....if I would go or not. Turned out it was all just for show and to ease his conscious....and I was just a babysitter.

I am devistated that my family is suffering...and they are living it up.....having a party. Not worried even about his kids. I have been seeking advice on what I should do. I don't want to be the one to file for divorce....and he is suposed to be moving out when they get back. It sucks big time.....and my kids were disappointed about coming home ( they wouldn't stay without me) but they aren't even concerned with the fact that Daddy's leaving.

They didn't even notice last time he left.....and shrugged and laughed when I told them he was staying somewhere else. He ignores them so much that they don't even know what a really Daddy does.

Any words of wisdom....advice...support...greatly appreciated.

07-04-2009, 09:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
DeniseK Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: north Ga. Posts: 487	Don't want it...don't have any choice. My hubby of 9 years has told me he is leaving me. He can't give me any reason, except that he just doesn't love me. He is addicted to video games(Ps3) and alcohol. I now suspect that he is using steroids. We separated 5 months ago and two months into the separation...he came home. The reason for our first separation was the alcohol....and his neglect for me and the children. I initated the separation...telling him to go take some time and be sure we were what he wanted. He saw a laywer....but then....he suddenly decided he was wrong. Says he found God. I am a christian woman and I am delighted with that...except....it didn't last. He is home for a month and the video game addiction just got worse...then he started talking to me about wanting to drink. Two weeks ago...things got rapidly worse. He stopped wanting me and the kids around....pushing us away. He spent up to 23 hours in one week on video game playing. Our issues were far from resolved but after one session of counseling.....he believed he was fine....refused to go back. We were planning a trip with his family (who think he does no wrong) for this 4th of July weekend. Two days before the trip...he drops the bomb...He is leaving me. I knew something was up....he had refused to say he loved me for almost three days and had not come within three feet of me. He wouldn't talk to me or look at me or have anything to do with our kids. 5 and 8....15. So, after he told me he was leaving....he said he wanted me to still go on the trip. Foolishly....I did....and it was (duh) a disaster. I ended up having to call my sister to come get me and the kids....because his family were enabling his behavior towards me and the kids. he barely acknowledged us.....wouldn't play with his children in the water park....and spent that whole first day....playing like a teenager with his brother. It was foolish of me to go...but I kind of thought it was some kind of test....if I would go or not. Turned out it was all just for show and to ease his conscious....and I was just a babysitter. I am devistated that my family is suffering...and they are living it up.....having a party. Not worried even about his kids. I have been seeking advice on what I should do. I don't want to be the one to file for divorce....and he is suposed to be moving out when they get back. It sucks big time.....and my kids were disappointed about coming home ( they wouldn't stay without me) but they aren't even concerned with the fact that Daddy's leaving. They didn't even notice last time he left.....and shrugged and laughed when I told them he was staying somewhere else. He ignores them so much that they don't even know what a really Daddy does. Any words of wisdom....advice...support...greatly appreciated.