Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

e_stars · 04-10-2008, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrokenFrag

She has shown herself to be too scared and weak to talk to me about our problems. She was too weak to resist temptation and fell in love with another man. She was too weak to break it off early. She was too weak to break it off even after she told me she had several times. It took her 4 weeks of me pointing out the truth of our situation before she would even commit to working on our marriage. There is nothing that he was giving her that I can't or won't. She just never asked.

I have forgiven her, and I will always love her, but my question is this: can a person develop strength of character? Can a person overcome weakness in their soul? I need a wife who will be able to handle the ups and downs in a marriage. I need a woman who will help me get up if I fall. I need a partner if I am ever to raise kids who will not give up if problems arise.

Can someone do this? Can someone overcome a lifetime of running away and blaming other people? Can they do it in one year's time (the period she finally agreed to to work on our marriage)?

Am I stupid for hanging around and hoping for her to change when she has already shown the type of person that she is?

Thanks.

I think that if you do love her, like you say, you should give her a chance. It's not easy at first. It's going to take time. Remember that although she cheated...she may be feeling guilt, shame and all those feelings that come along with being the cheater...making her seem weaker, vulnerable and scared.
I can't remember if I've read your older posts, but I hope you both are seeking counseling. My husband and I have been for the past two weeks and it has helped BIG TIME. We both are feeling a lot better and are optimistic we are going to get through this.
Like my husband...your wife needs to forgive herself for what she has done to move on and work on rebuilding your marriage. Best wishes to both of you.