Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - I cheated-- do I tell him?

Riff|{en · 04-10-2008, 03:27 PM

My wife and I are going on 16 years. I have 2 kids 16 and 11. Less than 6 months ago my wife told me she had cheated with my best friend 3 years into our marriage. They both continued to hide this from me for the next 13 years. He was very close to my family and I and my kids used to call him uncle. I trusted both him and my wife! I was crushed!!! We had been going through troubles and we were in the beginning stages of seeking marriage counseling. My wife said she had planned on keeping this information to her grave but the shame and the guilt had been too much to carry anymore. She felt that if we were going to pursue a new path, a new start that the truth needed to be told. It’s been extremely hard on me and I wish at times that she hadn’t told me. This ate at my soul for the next 6 months. It’s only been recent that I have been able to move on and get past this. I had a HUGE melt down recently and cried until I had no more to give. My soul was empty; I didn’t know whom I was and if my life was even worth it anymore. What was the purpose? It finally sucked me dry of all anger and sadness and I was willing to move forward and forgive. By the grace of God I feel a lot better now and I’m slowly putting back the pieces.

If you ask me I would say stop living a lie and for your sake and your husbands sake you should tell him. This is no way to live! If you take this to your grave you will never forgive yourself. God might but you will suffer spiritually! Cleans your soul! He deserves to know even if it destroys him and your marriage. If you guys truly love each other you will move past this and it will only make your marriage stronger over the years to come. It’s pointless to be married if you can’t be honest with each other. If your marriage is that bad you must leave in peace. If you truly love your husband than don’t play him for a fool! Ask yourself, what if the roles were reversed? Would you want to know?

He will forgive if you ask for it! You must support him and he tries to piece back his manhood.

04-10-2008, 03:27 PM	#16 (permalink)
Riff\|{en Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2	Re: I cheated-- do I tell him? My wife and I are going on 16 years. I have 2 kids 16 and 11. Less than 6 months ago my wife told me she had cheated with my best friend 3 years into our marriage. They both continued to hide this from me for the next 13 years. He was very close to my family and I and my kids used to call him uncle. I trusted both him and my wife! I was crushed!!! We had been going through troubles and we were in the beginning stages of seeking marriage counseling. My wife said she had planned on keeping this information to her grave but the shame and the guilt had been too much to carry anymore. She felt that if we were going to pursue a new path, a new start that the truth needed to be told. It’s been extremely hard on me and I wish at times that she hadn’t told me. This ate at my soul for the next 6 months. It’s only been recent that I have been able to move on and get past this. I had a HUGE melt down recently and cried until I had no more to give. My soul was empty; I didn’t know whom I was and if my life was even worth it anymore. What was the purpose? It finally sucked me dry of all anger and sadness and I was willing to move forward and forgive. By the grace of God I feel a lot better now and I’m slowly putting back the pieces. If you ask me I would say stop living a lie and for your sake and your husbands sake you should tell him. This is no way to live! If you take this to your grave you will never forgive yourself. God might but you will suffer spiritually! Cleans your soul! He deserves to know even if it destroys him and your marriage. If you guys truly love each other you will move past this and it will only make your marriage stronger over the years to come. It’s pointless to be married if you can’t be honest with each other. If your marriage is that bad you must leave in peace. If you truly love your husband than don’t play him for a fool! Ask yourself, what if the roles were reversed? Would you want to know? He will forgive if you ask for it! You must support him and he tries to piece back his manhood. Last edited by Riff\|{en; 04-10-2008 at 03:46 PM.