tfaye

My husband and I have been maried 20 yrs. I have been thru 3 of his "midlife" episodes. Each episode involved him going out with "friends" to unwind and have a few beers. Each episode
found me left at home, the first time with his young son from a previous marriage, the next one found me home alone with our newly adopted daughters ages 2 & 4, this time I am also home with my children now ages 10 & 12. He works 2nd shift and
oftens stays out til 4 or 5 am. He drinks and drives. On weekends he can't wait to go out with friends for a few cold ones. He almost always comes home drunk and is usually either very silly (not in a good way) or very grouchy. It doesn't take long before he falls asleep (or passes out) and then comes the most god awful snoring you ever heard. Our daughters have learned to avoid him altogether during these times. The younger one commented that she wanted her next dad to be more like her uncle. The older on can do no right in her dad's eyes. We just bought a house and settled in to a family oriented neighborhood. The girls love it , I love it. I would hate to have to try to sell it and move into an apartment. I don't know what to do to turn this around. He denies his drinking is a problem and that I shouldn't be so uptight. He will not go to counseling, as he does not have a problem.
I worry about his health, his safety, our finances (25$ a night 2-4 times a week) and the damage it is doing to my daughters. I can't sleep when he is out, worrying that a policeman will come to the door. When he does get home I can't sleep with the snoring and the sour smell of used beer. I am so tired, I worry myself sick pondering the legal ramifications should he get in an accident. Am I responsible? would our insurance cover damages if he's DUI?, what if he gets arrested,how much would that run? How would we manage transportation if he lost his license? I am closing in on 50 years old and my life seems to be falling apart. Any suggestions or advice??? tfaye