Quote:
Originally Posted by Owen
I say if your sincere about stopping it dont tell your husband. But you need to decide if you cant give him a proper relationship you need to divorce. You cant have your cake and eat it too.
there is a reason you feel the way you do (shame etc.) The question is what are you going to do about it. The problem with your type of behavour is it typically repeats itself after you get over the bad feelings.
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I understand your thoughts on the repeated behavior, but in my situation that wouldn't be the case. You see, my husband was the only man I had ever been physical with before this whole mess. Anyone who knows me would be COMPLETELY shocked by this. Eleven years of marriage-- now tarnished. Now that I'm thinking more clearly, I see the devastation. I'm scared to death of losing my kids. They're my world. He's never been vindictive, but he's never been faced with anything like this. Hopefully, he would realize how much those kids need me and us as a unified couple. Truth is, I've always loved him but I was so weary of being ignored by him. Now I'm scared he'll never look at me the same. I'm scared to go to a counselor because I had a bad experience with one years ago. I know I have to. I'm tired of being consumed by this. I can't concentrate on anything. I'm afraid despite advice not to tell, it's probably going to have to come out. I don't think I can live with it.