Originally Posted by Mavash.
My LD friend did this all the time and honestly I didn't blame her. Her husband treated her like crap and then expected sex??? Um no.
You know I agree with this because so many people think that women use sex as a weapon to not have sex etc. I do believe SOME women do. However there is usually more to the story I'm sure, or it is in my case. For example.
I have never once thought of me not wanting to have sex with my husband much, being used as a weapon or a way to punish. Over the years dealing with a alcoholic, who even now in recovery, still blames, put downs, criticizes, makes all things out to be my fault, has a temper etc, well umm that doesn't make me feel close or want to be intimate with him. He knows this and its been explained to him, but since he has that black/white thinking its not sinking in, all he sees is what he is not getting, not WHY that might be.
HE is part of what can make that closeness/sexual intimacy happen. If he isn't doing his part then is it fair to keep on laying down with a man who can continue to treat you a certain way while he still gets his way, sex? I don't think so.
Luckily I'm in therapy dealing with a lot of this. My counselor said that a lot of my emotional core was damaged due to the way I was treated etc. That emotional core is what helps me feel sexual and close to him, if its damaged, you can't expect it to work properly. I'm learning that I may need to walk away from someone who just doesn't get the whole picture of why things might be the way they are, and they are a big factor in him getting what he feels he needs/wants.
Bottom line, its not always used as a weapon or a way to punish. Sometimes people have a real legit reason for feeling the way they do. In the end you either get help for what the issue is or you move on.