Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Married and having a crush on another guy

sillygurl · 04-20-2012, 11:56 AM

I was looking around for marriage forums and this is the first result that google showed. So I'm here to pour myself out.

Please accept my apologies for soliciting advice here without providing any so far. I will give my inputs once I'm, in a better state of mind.

A little about me: I'm a female, 28 years old. My Husband is a little older to me, 32, and we are married for 3-4 years now;dated for 2 years before that. I don't really have any major complaints with my husband, just the usual marital ups-downs. I started graduate school in fall 2011 and most of my classes involve group work. We are usually assigned to groups by professors and some professors allow us to choose our group members. So I happened to know this guy. There were no feelings in the Fall semester and we were all getting to know each other. Now, since the beginning of the spring semester, jan 2012, I've realized that I'm a little atracted to this guy.

This guy is actually younger to me(24 years old), of a different ethnicity, of a different religion and yet I feel a strong connection. He seems to have a lot of principles, my husband does too, but I've not met too many men with principles. He does not behave his age, he actually acts older like may be a 30 year old or something. I'm so attracted that I've actually started dressing - up for my classes, which I never did in my first semester. I look forward to seeing him, to talking to him and just being with him. We usually only discuss classes/study. He knows i'm married and we both never hang out or something(this is because of lack of time and if he would invite me to hang out, i might end up going!!). I feel so sad to say this but I'm even sexually attracted to him to a small extent. This guy is not the drop-dead good looking guy, his looks are not even average. I shoudn't say this but I want to mention it to let you all know that my attraction is not just physical. We had a Spring break 2 weeks ago and not seeing him for 2 weeks was killing me.

I am a very self controlled and disciplined person myself and I'm feeling so silly and small to know that I have this issue. I've never ever found any guy more attractive than my husband.I will be gradauting in december and that thought is scarying me because i won't be able to see this guy. I feel I'm acting like a teenager

What's going on here with me? I don't even want advice like " stay away" etc because I know that's what I should be doing anyway. I am aware that this is totally wrong and immoral of me. I feel guilty but the excitement is also addictive. May be there are issues in my marriage that need to be fixed, but I seriosuly don't even think about my marriage these days. All on my mind is : my classes, exams, this guy, dressing - up, talking to him and back .

P.S.: I feel so bad admitting to this.

04-20-2012, 11:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
sillygurl Registered User Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 19	Married and having a crush on another guy I was looking around for marriage forums and this is the first result that google showed. So I'm here to pour myself out. Please accept my apologies for soliciting advice here without providing any so far. I will give my inputs once I'm, in a better state of mind. A little about me: I'm a female, 28 years old. My Husband is a little older to me, 32, and we are married for 3-4 years now;dated for 2 years before that. I don't really have any major complaints with my husband, just the usual marital ups-downs. I started graduate school in fall 2011 and most of my classes involve group work. We are usually assigned to groups by professors and some professors allow us to choose our group members. So I happened to know this guy. There were no feelings in the Fall semester and we were all getting to know each other. Now, since the beginning of the spring semester, jan 2012, I've realized that I'm a little atracted to this guy. This guy is actually younger to me(24 years old), of a different ethnicity, of a different religion and yet I feel a strong connection. He seems to have a lot of principles, my husband does too, but I've not met too many men with principles. He does not behave his age, he actually acts older like may be a 30 year old or something. I'm so attracted that I've actually started dressing - up for my classes, which I never did in my first semester. I look forward to seeing him, to talking to him and just being with him. We usually only discuss classes/study. He knows i'm married and we both never hang out or something(this is because of lack of time and if he would invite me to hang out, i might end up going!!). I feel so sad to say this but I'm even sexually attracted to him to a small extent. This guy is not the drop-dead good looking guy, his looks are not even average. I shoudn't say this but I want to mention it to let you all know that my attraction is not just physical. We had a Spring break 2 weeks ago and not seeing him for 2 weeks was killing me. I am a very self controlled and disciplined person myself and I'm feeling so silly and small to know that I have this issue. I've never ever found any guy more attractive than my husband.I will be gradauting in december and that thought is scarying me because i won't be able to see this guy. I feel I'm acting like a teenager What's going on here with me? I don't even want advice like " stay away" etc because I know that's what I should be doing anyway. I am aware that this is totally wrong and immoral of me. I feel guilty but the excitement is also addictive. May be there are issues in my marriage that need to be fixed, but I seriosuly don't even think about my marriage these days. All on my mind is : my classes, exams, this guy, dressing - up, talking to him and back . P.S.: I feel so bad admitting to this.