If you look at my "Can I save my wife" post in the general discussion forum, you can see the update. My wife is not right in the head, never has been. I was finally able to make enough sense of all this last night that I slept for more than 3 hours for the first time in 2 weeks (of course the ambien might have helped
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I have give her everything I ever had. She has all of my heart and my soul. Whatever mistakes I have made in the past, which she still can't pinpoint, they were never done intentionally. She has always come first with me. She still comes first.
I am just sad that the time is coming, that I will finally have to be selfish and think of myself. I truly believe I was born to love her and to help her. And it looks like she was born to never be able to recognize real love. The love her mother has tried to show her, the love that I have given her for long. The only love she knows is that desire and passion that go with "in love." Because that stuff burns so brightly, she thinks that that is what true love really feels like. She doesn't understand that it always fades. That true love is there to take out the trash. True love is there when she gets sad and tries to make her happy. True love is coming back with arms wide open even after she has tried to throw it away.
Unfortunately, if she doesn't come around soon, I will have to ask her to leave. It is sad, we might actually separate before her 30 birthday in early May. We both were so looking forward to that celebration. So sad. None of this had to happen.